I have no words to describe how much I love my life and my mission right now. I feel so completely lost in the work...in every way possible. Moyobamba is an awesome challenge that the Lord has dished out for me here at this time in my mission and I just love it so much because it requires basically my whole soul.
The hard part about being here is that we are here 100% giving it everything we possibly can, praying harder than I ever have in my life, going forward in faith with out getting discourages, loving the people, inquiring of the Lord at every moment, stopping in the streets and praying for any sign of direction from the spirit, feeling the spirit guiding us every day, loving the people, praying for them, walking a TON, involving the members and literally doing everything that we POSSIBLY can to move this work forward and help people to make and keep sacred covenants. And thenrolls around and the disappointment comes. The people that we spent every waking moment of every day helping and teaching and committing and praying for, the flake out and we're in the chapel alone as if we had spent the whole week laying around watching a netflix marathon instead of missionary work. Meanwhile the Elders in our SAME branch are baptizing families by the thousands and planning weddings for the next month. I know that comparing is wrong and I've only been here a little bit but when you're giving it everything you've got and NOTHING, its a bit disappointing. BUT, the good news is that we are not getting discouraged, not even the slightest. I've experienced the dangers in that and I know how debilitating it can be and will never be going back down that road.
So that's my small vent for now, on to the blessings and miracles. The other half of me is SO grateful that the Lord isn't handing success to me on a silver platter because right now I am the best missionary I have ever been and also HAPPIER than I have ever been. I wish a year ago I would have known everything that I know now, and I know that I could have done things so much better. Even though our fruits aren't apparent right now, every single day we go out and we feel the spirit we share the gospel with everyone, nothing but truth leaves our mouths and we have daily spiritual experiences and I feel as though we are really helping people to accept the gospel. We are so close to success and honestly have so many people that I can truly say we were divinely led to, they just need to come to church. One of them Is a family of a young couple with a baby. Their names are Marilu and Omar. They are so special and we found them our first day here. We were completely lost in the street with a map in hand not knowing where to go. We prayed for inspiration and I felt the desire to knock a certain door. At the door we were greeted warmly by Marilu and she welcomed us in. The rest is the usual, but we left that lesson and my companion after having taught her first ever discussion said ´´They are great, they´re gonna get baptized for sure!´´ I love it. ´´Yeah´´ I said, I love her faith so much and I have faith that her words just may be prophetic. This family has desires to be baptized and I feel the spirit so strong every time we teach them, we'll get them to church, the members are supporting. They have a baby who has some developmental problems and that makes it a bit complicated. But I have so much faith.
But anyway, everything is so good and the spirit is confirming to me that what we are doing is good. Fruits to come!
Love Hna Benyo