Monday, May 18, 2015

Semana 68 in Moyobamba (May 11th, 2015) LAUREN'S LAST LETTER HOME!!!

Well, this is it. The day I thought would never come. My last email home.
This week was full of lasts. We had consejo in Iquitos and it was honestly so good. Just what we needed.  With all the pressures of juggling baptizing, rescuing, and retaining we've kind of lost our focus on the whole bringing others into the fild and finding new people to teach.  Although we must rescue and retain as missionaries our first focus is finding, teaching, and baptizing families. President also gave a training that really impacted me on obedience and repentance.  It started out a many trainings in the mission do talking about complete and exact obedience.  But then I really liked how it ended. It's not just a quiestion of whether or not we're obedient but WHEN we aren't obedient are we truly TRULY repenting and changing and submitting ourselves to the Lord. We as missionaries teach the doctrine of Christ which all begins with faith and repentance.  Sure we can invite people all day to do it, but how powerful is that invtation going to be if we aren't doing it ourselves. That my friends, is what we call latter day hipocrisy.  Practice what you preach. That's what I took away from it and it really gave me a chance to re-evaluate some things and how I am applying the atonement and repentance process even though I may not be committing what's known as ''major sins''.
When I got back from Iquitos, our flight got delayed and we wnded up staying the night in Tarapoto. Which was AWESOME because I got to stay in my very first mission apartment and got to see my old Tarapoto ''moms''--Hna Luzmila and Hna Marisol.
Right when we got back to Moyo I had my LAST EVER work visit and visited Hermana Jackson. It was really great and constructive and it felt good. 
After being away from my area for three days straight I got back to my area and my poor companion who had been trucking away with members. She is the BEST!!!! I love Hna Tituaña.  But I cannot lie to you all, these last three days have been the saddest thing ever.  I have been pretty excited up until this moment but now I just feel like I'm walking in a daze and like someone is suffocating me. Not trying to be dramatic but I didn't think this would be this hard. On saturday we fasted as a zone and when I did my fast I had a little melt down but it was good. I felt sheer gratitude and in my fast I asked the Lord to help me recognize the good and the blessings that have come from my mission. Why does this have to end?
Don't get me wrong I can't wait to see you all but I know this week isn't going to be easy.  2 more days here in Moyo and I'm on my way to Iquitos to have my final interview and farewell. This is so so sad. 
But, I want to say that I am will be eternally grateful for my mission. I have never been shaped and formed and molded so much in such a short amount of time. Anyone who's contemplating, go on a mission. It is the best decision you will ever make.
I can't wait to see you all and I pray for peace and calm as I board that long awaited plane home.

I love you all

Hermana Benyo


 Pres and Hna Gomez took us to lunch after consejo de lideres!  Sister half of the table

My last sunday in Moyo :(

Me and Hna Marisol in Tarapoto!!! After more than a year reunited!!

Me and hermana Hixson at consejo de lideres

Last time flying from consejo

 Zone Moyobamba!!!
My last sunday in Moyo :(

My pensionist and her husband both have Brett Favre jerseys...

 haha apparently no one wanted them in the United states!!!

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